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As psychotherapist and agony aunt Trish Murphy says, “While any parent would be justified in expressing concern about a 20-year age gap, having a good relationship at any stage of your life is worthwhile, and it would be good to cherish and value that relationship for as long as it makes sense.” Age gaps can work really well.
“The success or failure of relationships and marriages comes down to a number of interacting factors, and age is just one of them,” says psychotherapist Brendan Madden, former director of Relationships Ireland.
Likewise, an older woman who has had children and doesn’t want more might be the right choice for a younger man who doesn’t want kids.Here are a few pics of today’s soundcheck – with thanks to Karin Chykaliuk for the full band photos.Age-gap relationships are and always have been controversial, but if you are limiting the pool you choose a mate from by age, you could be losing out. His hair was white and mine a teenage blond, and we turned heads wherever we went, although I didn’t feel an age gap and nor did he. We were happy until the deal-breaker appeared: I wanted children and he didn’t because he had several already.The bigger the age gap, the greater the fragility of the relationship, especially if the issue of having a family comes into play.
Large gaps are rare: only 1 per cent of married men have wives who are 20 years or more younger and a mere 0.3 per cent of married women have husbands 20 years or more younger, according to research in the US, Australia and the UK.
Age gaps of six years or more occur more often: 11.6 per cent of married men are older by six years or more, compared with 2.7 per cent of married women.